pros to cons: ways to conference with intention
originally published within materializing your magic - my co-lead online community for intuitive entrepreneurs looking for gentle accountability
A few years ago, my ass stayed at someone’s conference
(it was a frequent occurrence).
I couldn’t tell you what got me going to them so often
(both the conference and I were the shiny objects depending on the perspective)
but it was when I returned to grad school to work on my PhD
(released that trajectory before COVID but that’s another story).
COVID definitely put a halt to going to them IRL, until just recently
(last year)
when I went to Jamaica to speak alongside some of my friends/colleagues in the field
(at The Association of Black Sexologists and Clinicians’ Spring Roundtable Series)
That got me thinking about the many reasons (or intentions) behind attending conferences.
(I’m always encouraging folks to really sit with their rationale)
Here are a few pros I came up with:
Setting the scene: Keep in mind, this list is informed by my own lived experience as a sexologist, coach, and mentor. Receive what works; release what doesn’t.
(Oh. And if you hadn’t noticed, I use parenthesis in my writing: visualize them as my version of those bubbles on VH1's Pop-Up Video)
a late 90s disclaimer that needed to be made
Possible Intentions Behind Attending Conferences
Keep the Knowledge Going
You will be able to not only have the opportunity to share information
(as participant, workshop presenter, exhibitor, etc.)
but also attend other workshops that keep you current and informed. I usually leave a conference energized and inspired which can lead to a juicy creative flow.
What are some topics that have sparked your interest but you haven’t dedicated the time to deep dive just yet?
Test Kitchen
You can submit a proposal to present something new to you and/or exciting and get some feedback from participants. This can be organically during your presentation, via the conference’s evaluation if they offer one, or have your own ready. This can look like either questions you ask at the end or distribute a pre-made one. I have a simple evaluation that I create a QR code for and share at the end. It also has a space for folks to share comments.
(and I ask for consent to publish comments as testimonials)
What is an idea that you’ve been itching to showcase/experiment/play with?
Pedagogy Party
Having the opportunity to witness the various ways people facilitate can be exciting and enriching, even if you end up witnessing ways you don’t want to present. It can also help you figure out your own preferred learning style(s), let alone teaching styles.
What’s in your “facilitator toy box”, meaning what are some of the styles/pedagogy you implement when you present?
What is your preferred learning style? Is it also your preferred teaching style?
*Note: some want explicit permission for reproducing their work and I am confident that all of us want our work attributed in some way (i.e. work is being highlighted or included in future work).
This is especially true for Blackfolks and other system-impacted folks whose intellectual property is foundational despite our erasure.
Cite your sources!*
Find Your Folks
They can be a great way to connect with people. I’ve built longstanding relationships with people who I met, and sometimes only connect with, at conferences. Definitely not everyone or everywhere but there are plenty of folks who collaborate, share resources, connect you to other folks, etc.
Reflect back on a recent connection you made with folks/someone. What helped make the connection happen?
On the flip side, what factors were involved if/when there was a time you were turned off aka your spirit didn’t take to that person/connection?
Gooooo Team!
If you dig collaboration, you could attend to support someone with their workshop, provide valuable feedback, and/or write about each other’s work as content or as a review in a scholarly journal.
(I’m here for consensual feedback tho. otherwise, it’s just criticism)
Y’all may be called to submit a collaborative proposal yourselves. I’ve ended up connecting with the conference organizers or organizations, and collaborating with them on future conferences and outside projects.
How do you feel about collaboration? What makes a collaboration fun and/or fruitful to you?
The Planateers know what it is!
Cross-Pollinate
For example, I encourage my fellow sexuality professionals to explore additional conferences outside of sexuality-specific ones. I remember the first time I attended the National Women’s Studies Conference and saw the lack of sexuality and pleasure workshops.
(I’ve only attended once in 2015 - was super academic with panels of authors reading their published papers. I learned so much and I got to hear/meet bell hooks!)
Think about what you offer and/or a presentation topic and consider what other “industries” may find this beneficial or how you could tweak an already made presentation to apply to a particular community and/or group of folks within an industry.
(given you have an understanding of said community and/or any nuances)
I have a workshop on self-care for sexuality professionals of color, which I have also offered to nonprofit professionals, therapists of color, and advocates/employees of sexual violence programs.
(keep in mind I have lived experience and knowledge - here is a recorded version)
What are some industries you would consider exploring and sharing your work?
Showcase Your Magic
I see this in a few ways:
engaging in workshops highlights your voice and how you feel about certain topics/discussions
presenting at a conference in itself can be lead-generating. It gives a large group of folks, possibly new to you or your topic, access to your wisdom and insight
whether presenting or not, you can gain potential clients/gigs/co-conspirators
(see previous pros on connecting and collaborating)
Look into at least one conference you’re interested in. Name at least one way you could showcase your magic.
*Note: I am big on intentional, meaningful relationships - colleagues or clients - and I am also a strong proponent of Stay Ready. That could look like practicing how you describe your work or presence in this space, as well as offering an amuse-bouche of your magic (i.e. something lead generating/relationship building like resources, slide deck if you’re presenting, etc.)*
Get Your Coin
Although that wasn’t my experience as an “emerging professional”, there are ways to make money at conferences. It has been typical that presenters are not paid: they either are comped registration or they receive discounted registration. Some don’t mind that as they have access to funds, find sponsors, or consider it part of their marketing strategy.
(which also could mean a business expense - talk to your money people aka accountant, etc. - and this isn’t limited to my entrepreneurs. This could be the rationale needed for your employer to support your professional development!)
Some conferences actually consider paying their speakers 😲🤯 <sarcasm>
(I feel strongly that a conference wouldn’t exist without presenters and I am seeing many conferences making changes. Again, some folks see attending valuable in other ways besides generating income)
Generally, in my experience, keynote/plenary speakers are those who get paid
(make sure you’re paid well - whatever that means for you - as your expertise is valuable!)
You could also attend the conference as an exhibitor; tabling could lead to product sales and/or highlighting your services/business. I’ve seen readings done, reiki offered, products raffled, etc. I myself have created games, offered sex/pleasure advice, and raffled services/sex toys/prizes. I plan on taking this game wheel for a spin - pun intended.
I swear it looks something like this but I never used it. I wanted to create different categories but you get it
Would you consider attending/presenting/exhibiting at conferences? Why or why not?
What is one thing you have created or can easily create that would generate income? How so?
(please note: I am still COVID conscious and am dabbling with outside a bit more, hesitantly. Be conscious of masking and the risk involved with being in these spaces - regardless of them being outdoors or not)
My hope is that you let this simmer and see if conferences are an option for you or if any of these are new perspectives to attending them.
A Few Final Thoughts
My system-impacted (racialized, oppressed, exploited) folks: there may be instances that we will be the one <insert social identity> in the space and I've also experienced being told there aren't many of "us" yet finding that community at a conference. Assess your capacity and boundaries. Trust your discernment.
(Believe yourself - you’re not buggin. I have been in spaces where the energy has felt vampiric, unwelcoming, and/or unsafe)
There are also conferences centering particular identities as well (i.e. Sex Down South, Afros & Audios, Fat Con); they can vary with programming that's open to all and/or exclusive to community members only.
Don’t like big crowds of people? Try virtual conferences or conferences that give you the chance to connect with people beforehand/betwixt. There are conferences that are becoming more conscious of timing and spoons.
(I have even experienced conferences with healing spaces or quiet spaces to decompress. Take notes, conference organizers).
You can also make it as spacious as you need/want. Schedule out people-y things at your pace.
Conference prices too damn high? Not in your budget? If it feels like an equitable exchange to you:
Many conferences give you the chance to join their planning committee and/or volunteer for registrations, with lodging included and/or stipends.
(sometimes)
As I mentioned before, some companies/organizations may also offer sponsorship money for you to attend.
Con drop is a thing. If you’re able, carve out time after to decompress and process all the information/experiences.
(aftercare is not just for us kinksters)
In my opinion, it’s like when you need a vacation after your vacations x20, especially when you feel disconnected from [insert community or industry] outside of attending.
Ooooo shiny! You may be super excited and want to attend every single workshop block. Give yourself grace if your spoons are not as plentiful as you wanted.
(check in on your capacity)
If you’re feeling up for it, check out the offerings before you go so you can be intentional about attending workshops.
Another idea is you could coordinate a workshop (in-person or virtual) around the same time to offset any costs and/or connect with your supporters. You may find conference organizers that would happily collaborate or share. If it’s in-person, this could be a dope opportunity to also collaborate with someone local to the area.
(I’m not talking about creating a program in direct competition with the conference itself, although I personally don’t see that as a problem if the conference isn’t inclusive and your offer would make space for that)
If you’re going in person, do some research. I encourage you to enjoy the sites and consider donating your time/money to local charities. At the end of the day, we are guests and, most likely, on occupied lands.
Nervous about attending or presenting? Make sure you have a Stay Ready Stash of your favorite coping/cozy/regulating things.
What are some ways you can support you?
Also, name that excitement! I first heard this concept - that anxiety and excitement are the same thing to your brain physiologically - from Mel Robbins in a CreativeLive workshop
(which, given who it is, I’m sure came from someone else. Please share if you got its origins)
What is your take on conferences? Have any experiences of your own or additional suggestions/recommendations? Please share!
✨shimmies✨
Need help? Tag me in!
My coaching session, nurture, is an excellent opportunity to get the support you need for your conference workshops, your intentional career/entrepreneurial moves, and/or cultivating your own Stay Ready Stash
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